


Insights

by hazyamethyst



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Indie Music RPF, Last Shadow Puppets, Milex - Fandom
Genre: Let's go with that, M/M, al!dom, astrology says al would boss poor mi around so yea, i mean after all al is a capricorn and mi a pisces, miles!sub, so i turned the tables here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:03:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazyamethyst/pseuds/hazyamethyst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay so I guess this could be called a free verse poem. Or not, because it rhymes at times. Well, if you've ever read a book by Charles Bukowski you'll see what I'm doing here (yes he was a complete and utter asshole but an authentic one at least). Anyways hope you like it guys:D xx</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I guess this could be called a free verse poem. Or not, because it rhymes at times. Well, if you've ever read a book by Charles Bukowski you'll see what I'm doing here (yes he was a complete and utter asshole but an authentic one at least). Anyways hope you like it guys:D xx

Again, I’m on the verge of crying.  
Eyes pricking with hot tears, I feel ashamed.  
He’s toying with my feelings, my body and my mind,  
A powerful cocktail he likes to stir just for fun.

And I’m this vulnerable mess,  
kneeling on the floor and shaking not because of his presence  
(well maybe a bit)  
but because the air conditioner is on  
and it’s winter we’re in,  
and I’m stark naked.

But he’s comfortable,  
and that’s what baffles me the most,  
how he manages to keep his composure so wonderfully,  
when in every other situation he’s a painfully shy boy.  
  
Or man;  
Alex has grown up,  
not in height- he’s still petite,  
but in age,  
and it shows just fine  
when he lays his heavy hand on my back I see the veins,  
the marked knuckles,  
the strength.  
He squeezes with some venom,  
and purrs in one silky breath  
“Don’t forget to count, _Kane_ ”.

And counting is really not the problem, you see.  
Voicing it aloud, now that’s the complicated thing.  
I don’t want to feed his ego,  
I can’t stomach just how easy he makes me submit.  
I can’t stomach just how _easy_ he makes me feel.

But trust Alex to fall back on his resources,  
the obsessive control freak,  
Shortcomings, that’s for the careless and lazy  
those who can’t foresee,  
And Alex can,  
Alex knows,  
Alex will.  
He’s always prepared,  
he’s always ten steps ahead of me.

So it’s a ring this time,  
one he pushes past my closed but weak mouth  
and once inside, it expands.  
It’s just soft rubber,  
but it doesn’t bend.  
I can’t make it do so,  
my mouth is helplessly agape  
and I’m scared.  
Restraints never sit well with me.  
  
‘Feeling open babe?’ he mocks,  
leather boot digging swiftly his way down my bum,  
left hand pulling my hair up,  
right one patting my shoulder with this condescending,  
this petulant edge to it,  
that makes my blood boil any day  
and sneer.  
  
But today I give way.  
He’s won, though this isn’t a game.  
This is just him, Alex,  
showing me he’s all too aware  
of every weak spot,  
every obsession, every fear I have.  
He’ll then soothe it all with wet kisses, sweet melodies,  
silly jokes and goofy smiles.  
But he has to make his statement first,  
he needs me to break down in order to pick me up again,  
-then tear some more-  
It’s both a warning and a display of love,  
it’s that ushered darkness in the depths of his brain coming afloat.

He wants me dependent,  
and I've always been anything but,  
still at times like this he shows me  
he has the power to,  
and he eventually will,  
in spite of my natural reluctance to give in  
he won’t really stop until I’m fully and only  
_his._  


 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops! So this is Alex's POV. It needed writing, okay? Cool. Enjoy!!

‘Drink’ I command when he approaches me,  
holding out a champagne flute.  
Drink, I say,  
because words won’t leave my mouth;  
come join me in the feeling,  
for a petty second  
\- or five.  
  
You make me sour with jealousy  
you chirpy, loved-by-all gent,  
taste my misery in long gulps,  
and close your eyes,  
yes,  
_shudder_  
and try to understand.  
  
That I’m aloof,  
that I don’t crave company from just anyone,  
and I ultimately don’t mind,  
if I’m on the receiving end of curious glances,  
and whispered questions  
\- as long as _I_  
have my own little circle of beloved ones  
in whom to count on,  
I’ll be fine.  
  
But _you_ ,  
you’re one step in and one out,  
you distort my every assumption  
and give me anything but security when off  
you go,  
to seek that glow on the pupils of strangers,  
as they are marveled by your wit  
(those same old jokes on repeat!)  
and you seemingly can't help it,  
drawing attention is second nature  
to you, it seems,  
every social event we attend,  
any time you have the chance,  
you take-  
  
_You always take it._  
And I’m left to watch, like tonight,  
as you meticulously avoided me,  
talked with anyone instead  
and,  
sometimes, you’d even lean over and whisper,  
or flash too wide a grin to giggling, excited birds,  
your little face adopting this orgasm-like expression  
as you smoked and wallowed in your influence and fame.  
  
Yet you come back, _Kane_.  
You sit beside me when the party is over,  
and hold my hand,  
and then I’m fuming at it all:  
I wanna punish you for acting so frisky  
\- right before my very own eyes;  
for being so fake and feeding my every obsession  
\- instead of putting them to rest;  
for getting to know me so well  
-and act like it doesn’t matter,  
in front of everyone else.  
  
But I stay silent and pinch your rosy palm,  
inflicting pain is my outlet,  
and for you, what?,  
I wonder,  
awaiting your switching of characters,  
I’m impatient and confused,  
hoping with my heavy heart this one is truly the original you  
and the other just a cheap façade you can get rid of  
and will,  
_for me._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [ come punch me for being a lazy potato](http://calmlikemilex.tumblr.com/%22url%22)


End file.
